When things don’t go our way, we tend to see ourselves on a spectrum.
On one end of the spectrum is the victim. The victim sees the challenge as something that happens to them. They are resigned to their circumstances, but don’t like this fact. To assuage this, they blame, crib, complain and wish that things were otherwise. They fixate on problems, but don’t act because they don’t think they have the power to change the situation. If they were to act, they fear being blamed for the consequences. Their response is one of reaction and resignation.
On the other end of the spectrum is the agent of change. The agent realizes that regardless of the situation, they have a measure of agency over it. Regardless of how the situation plays out, they have the power to respond to it. They accept the status-quo and look for ways to change it. They are solution oriented, unafraid to act and to take responsibility for the consequences of their action. In other words, they are proactive.
Our response to every situation lies between being its reactive victim and a proactive agent of change. The more we see ourselves as victims of a situation, the more we relinquish our own agency to change it.