What you can’t optimize

I once tried to schedule 40 minute catch-up-calls to keep in touch with my closest friends. My rationale was that if we kept the conversation short and snappy, it was likely that we would talk more often.

This plan never worked out. Most times, 40 minutes were enough for us to merely get warmed up and get into deeper and more meaningful conversation. In cases where I did follow this rule, the call seemed like a status update – transactional and lacking in substance.

Things can be optimized, relationships cannot. They are immune, even allergic to efficiency. The idea is to optimize everything else to make time, space and attention for our relationships to thrive.

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