On 22 January 2018, on a whim, I wrote one post that has since turned into a daily habit.
Along the way a couple of things have remained the same:
- The posts have maintained a cadence and a consistency around certain themes. It gives me an indication of the things that I notice – of my narrow slice of consciousness of the world
- Every post is still agonizing. That hasn’t gotten easier with time. Everyday, I anguish over what I would write and how I would express it
If things remain the same – if I am writing about the same themes, and it feels difficult everyday, what is the point?
When we reread a book after a while, it feels different from our first reading. The book we read is the same. We, its readers, have changed.
It is difficult to notice the gradual, daily change that comes with such a habit. And yet, one year back, if you had asked me if I could blog daily for a year, I would have laughed at the thought. The surest sign of this change is the anguish I experience everyday, that keeps this challenge alive and keeps my practice deliberate.
For if I have learnt anything this year, it is to have more respect and gratitude for the anguish that makes our daily practice difficult, substantial and worthy of doing.